Thesis and Outline Essays (565 words) - Writing, Sports,

Thesis and Outline Thesis With countless of blood doping, drug abuse, bribery within the IOC, it hardly represents its core values of responsibility and respect the IOC is striving for. Main argument 1 In recent years, the number of drug abuse among the players have increased dramatically, bringing the integrity of the Olympics into question. Doping is nothing new to the Olympics . ( Smithsonian ) How does this connect to the core values? Thomas Bach believes that the system is working. He believes what really matters is that the athletes who abuse drug are being caught: It is becoming "high-stakes competition between Olympic athletes who used banned substances and drug testers out to catch them." How does this evidence support the main argument? You will need to explain what this means high stakes competition' is this an admission of guilt? That the IOC is unable to prevent this from happening? why ? The credibility of the drug test is not as strong as Bach states it is. What evidence do you have to support this? You really need to find some outside articles to support your positions here. There have been a lot of additionl cases of doping since article 1 was published. Main argument 2 The IOC that is supposed to work to promote its core values has also been deeply associated with rampant bribery. Salt Lake City Olympic scandal. Dick Pound, former vice president of IOC. Nagano Olympics. Melbourne Olympics. Which articles and what specific points are you referring to above? Main argument 3 The athletes have also tarnished organization's core values by blatantly cheating in various ways. Boris Onischenko , Russian fencer Dong Fanxiao , Chinese gymnast. Even in the Paralympics: 2000 Spanish Paralympic basketball team. Ben Johnson, Canadian sprinter This evidence is better for your main argument 1? It is about doping right? Which articles and what specific points are you referring to above? You will need to establish that the IOC are unable to prevent such acts. What are the counter arguments to the position of this paragraph? The thesis must indicate the topic, position, and rationale for the position. It must logically respond to the essay prompt. The outline should include a topic sentence for each of the two or three body paragraphs, and an appropriate number of relevant supporting points to for each topic sentence. The preceding underlined items should be considered highest concern' to help distinguish "essential" from "minor" problems. Your outline clearly meets all of the above main points well. However you need to add more relevant and specific points from different articles. At the moment I can understand your position and the points you want to make, so I think you can write a good essay. But if you rely only on evidence from one article for each main point, your essay will be weak and show a lack of research. It is not clear from this outline how you are synthesizing evidence from different articles. If you can show the article number after each supporting point I would have a clearer picture of the research you have done. Remember you can have up to 2 additional articles. You also need to rewrite a more effective Thesis and Topic sentences that connect more to specific core values. Grade 90